A Lovely Harmless Monster

Editing: tfd

((header))
title:Toll-Free Detective
author:matt
tags:games
date:2025-04-26
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<h1 id="pagetitle">$$title$$</h1>

Here's how to play *toll-free detective*: dial a 1-800 number spelling out a word on the keypad. If the number has anything to do with the word, you get a point. If it's a sex hotline, insurance company, or any other random unrelated business, you don't.

For example, 1-800-FLOWERS would get a point if you didn't already know about it. 1-800-PANCAKE leads to a roboprompt about insurance, which has nothing to do with pancakes, so it's not worth anything.

You can use more than 7 numbers—anything after the 7th just gets ignored—but every number has to represent a letter. Multiple words are okay, but *probably* not a good strategy. E.g., 1-800-FINGERELEVEN[^1] is a valid play, but not 1-800-FINGER11.

Play solo or take turns with a friend. Play until you get bored.

International players: I don't know how toll-free numbers work outside the US, sorry

[^1]: I have not actually checked to see if this is the official [Finger Eleven](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finger_Eleven) hotline; if you think this is a good play, feel free to use it. Also maybe this rule doesn't need to exist? idk, ignore it if you want

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