A Lovely Harmless Monster

Editing: topics/gender

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title:Gender
author:matt
tags:topics
date:2025-04-28
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<h1 id="pagetitle">$$title$$</h1>

The umbrella term for my gender identity is **nonbinary**, meaning I don't fit into the gender binary. The specific term for my experience is *agender*, meaning I don't identify strongly with any gender. There are traits from multiple genders with which I identify, but I don't lean strongly in any one direction.

Privilege-wise, I am perceived as a gender-nonconforming member of the sex I was assigned at birth, but I don't experience dysphoria or discomfort at being misgendered. I experienced a fair amount of bullying for my gender as a child, especially by my [dad](/topics/parents), but I've been lucky not to have faced much violence or harassment as an adult. I don't identify as trans, but terms like "queer" and "genderqueer" are ones I'm beginning to be more comfortable with.

The pronouns that feel most accurate for me are **they/them**, but I have no issues with masculine or feminine pronouns when applied to me. I feel no differently about any of them.

Relatedly, I'm demisexual and grayromantic. Subjects of sex and gender don't hold much *general* interest for me, and I rarely discuss them except with people I'm close to. Obviously I support trans and queer liberation in all forms, but due to my differences I struggle to feel like I belong in trans- or queer-centered communities; My [neurodivergence](/topics/neurodivergence&command=edit) makes me struggle to feel like I belong *anywhere*, but that said, I feel more accepted in queer and trans spaces than any part of "mainstream" society.

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